I used the idea of a book for my header since this challenge is going to be a journal of my life over the years.
I hope you enjoy viewing these pages of my life as they unfold. I know I will...

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Sound Of Silence

After the party my girl's left and went to spend the night with their cousins. They ended up staying 2 nights. We go pick them up today and although I have missed them, I feel horrible admitting I've enjoyed the silence. No fights to break up, no crying, no messes to clean up.

I love being a mom more than anything but I really struggle sometimes. I want to live my life with no regrets but it seems the harder I try the more I have. Most of the time I feel completely lost as if I don't have a clue what I'm doing or if I'm even doing it right. There is so much pressure to be the perfect mom and I seem to find myself falling short, especially in the patience department.

Bedtime is a nightmare in my house. We put the girls to bed at 8pm and at 10 they are still awake, fighting, crying, tattling on each other the entire 2 hours. I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do. Nothing has worked. Maybe I need to separate them into separate rooms again. Sorry to vent. Guess I just needed to get it out.

9 comments:

Kids Educational Resources said...

Lovely picture and nice decor.

Renée said...

Just so you know, you are not alone. I struggle everyday with my three alpha's. Constant fighting and complaining. I feel your stress and thanks for airing your frustrations. It is nice to know others have similar struggles.

Leslie :~D said...

My girls got along much better when they had their own rooms. But I know exactly how you're feeling. I have guilt for not doing this or that. It comes with the territory! There is no perfect mom, and all you can do is what you can do. Accept that, and you'll feel some of that stress leave you. I find, now that my kids are older, that my stress level is better. I mean, I know the teen years have their own stresses, but honestly for me, it's easier than the toddler/early school years. I'm much happier and more laid back now. The kids can help with chores, they can be reasoned with (sometimes), and overall, they have improved with age! I loved being a mommy and all that, just like you, but it is a huge stress in life! I don't know if any of this make sense, or if I'm just rambling... but you're not alone, and you're a great mom. You give your kids amazing opportunities, I can see that in the pictures. They have a wonderful life full of love, fun, family, and more love. That's what counts... LOVE. And sister, I think you've got that down!! ((HUG))

Chillygator said...

If you ever need me to come watch them (during non-work hours), just let me know! I don't deal with fighting every day so it's still kind of cute to me (o:

Jules said...

Don't feel guilty for enjoying it!!! You deserve a break every now and then & so do they!! I completely enjoyed the time my older four were in CA last month! :) you're an awesome mom, Suzanne- just take a look @ that bday party! I've never done anything 1/4 that nice! You're amazing!

Jeremy said...

These kids sure do make us wonder about how we ever thought we could be parents! You are definitely not alone. Out of my four kids, it is the two girls that always seem to be finding ways to put off falling asleep; especially true of Robyn. Heather often resorts to camping in the hallway outside their rooms with a book so they will settle down and let their need for sleep take over. Doesn't help with the "mommy time" needed at night, but does break the cycle and then often they will be good about bedtime for days after that.

Somers said...

I know how you feel. Sometimes it seems like our boys' favorite activity is fighting. At bedtime we have always had to either put them to bed at different times or in separate rooms. It is hard!

Danette He said...

You described me and how I feel perfectly, so it must not just be you. I have four and it's a chaotic mess of fighting and breaking things and dirt and more mess and more fighting. It must just be how it is I guess. I love them all like crazy too. This is the first year they all go to school and I've been looking forward to it for years; even though like I said, I love them like crazy. Still...peace, quiet, cleanliness and alone time have their pluses too.

T8 and Christy said...

I'm convinced that blogs and social media are tool for helping us vent when we need to.=) And you can see the response--you are not alone in your feelings. But let me tell you, from the outside looking in, you are an amazing mom with so much love for your children! Hang in there!