I used the idea of a book for my header since this challenge is going to be a journal of my life over the years.
I hope you enjoy viewing these pages of my life as they unfold. I know I will...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Slow Me Down


I've been getting more and more frustrated with my life. There is no balance and every aspect of my life suffers because of it. I think it took my computer crashing for me to realize I'm over-doing it and I need to stop. I've tried slowing down and inevitably I can't say no to people so I really haven't been able to.

Photography has become a "have to" for me and I never wanted that to happen. It's also become such a popularity contest and all I do is find myself getting frustrated. I've never been very good at popularity contests my whole life. I take them too personally.

I need a break, to take a step back and re-evaluate what it is I really want to do. I need to get back to doing it for me and find that passion again.

I'll still do my 365 blog and I do already have several shoots scheduled over the next couple months so I won't be disappearing completely but I will not be taking any new clients unless it's a wedding for a while.

I want to do the family mini shoots end of October so look out for those and I have a couple clients who are loyal to me that I would never turn down but I just can' t do any more.

It's summer and I have done nothing but edit all day every day. My kids are growing so fast. I've missed out on so much sitting in front of this computer for hours on end and it needs to stop. My church put out this amazing video recently that hit home, it's exactly how I've been feeling and anyone can agree no matter what their religious affiliation is. I'm seeing more and more what matters most and it's these crazy little people I have in my life. Yes, I'm the mom on the computer in this video that needs desperately to go dance in the rain...



"We would do well to slow down a little. Focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most."


11 comments:

Missy Lee said...

Suzanne- You are an incredible woman and I admire your talent and also your willingness and ability to step back and look at your life and remember what's most important...you and your family!! Take care of you first and the rest will fall into place ;)

PandaMom said...

Wow! It's takes huge courage to say you want to step back and LIVE!!! ; ) My hubby has told me that the moment my photography becomes a chore then I have to stop and re-evaluate. You go girl!!!

A womb for rent said...

Good JOb! This is something that I also struggle with. I have had a hard tim getting into Photography outside of NILMDTS just because of how much behind the photo shoot takes. But I love your stuff!!! You defiantly have an amazing talent and you don't want your talent to become a burden! You need to love doing it and slowing down will allow the love to stay!!!

Aria said...

Oh, that video totally hit home...and left me in tears. I'm so proud of you for seeing the big picture and taking the courage to make a change. I keep trying to slow things down, but it is so hard. This year I've been trying harder to savor these sweet moments that pass by in a flash...it's definitely a learning process. Good luck, and good for you!

Raynz Photoz! said...

Amen to EVERYTHING you said!!!! You are so over the top talented, but you're right, it's YOUR family that suffers!!! I feel the EXACT same way . . . did you notice I'm NO longer on facebook!? And I'm also NOT taking anymore photo shoots!!! I'm actually DONE for awhile!!! It's sooo NOT worth it for me anymore!!! LOVE the video and I too, am the mom sitting in front of the computer while my kids and hubby are outside playing!! I admire OUR courage to take a step back and focus on what matters MOST and that's our family and ourselves!!! Best wishes to ya!!! xoxoxoxoxo Rayni :-)

Unknown said...

It's always good to find balance. Maintaining it isn't alway easy, but I know you can do it! Hang in there, cutie. Everything will be fine.
Elizabeth

Renée said...

Agree on so many levels!!! As you probably know I too have slowed down and love it. I still get frustrated when I spend time editing on the computer while the sun is hot and the kids want to play. But I need to keep it going just a little to keep it fresh and have a release. Congrats on your liberation and enjoy the wee ones when they are wee. Agree on the popularity contest part....so true. Love you and your strength!

Danette He said...

I have wondered about this also, if becoming pro would eat up all my time. I hate popularity contests also. I abhore them, and I guess I'm not that good at it either, because my business is not really taking off that much. Maybe I wasn't meant to have that destiny. Maybe I was meant to be a mom. I like being a mom a lot, but I every time I see a photo shoot, I think "I wish I had gotten to do that." So like you, I'm working it out and trying to be alright with what God sends my way or doesn't send my way. You are one of the best I've ever seen, so I hope to keep watching your work online. I'd miss it a lot if you stopped posting.

T8 and Christy said...

Loved the video--will repost on facebook! You do what you have to do, and it will all work out. =) (I was relieved, however, that you will continue your 365... ;) )

Curly said...

What can I say? You already know that I am proud of you, and must say that I will never personally regret simplifying my life for the same reasons. The irony is we think we're doing it for our families, when in reality we mothers are the ones who benefit the most. Enjoy!

Weston and Nicole said...

How is it that I didn't notice this post until now? I love you Suzanne and reading this made my heart sink for 2 reasons...1) I feel bad you've been feeling "out of balance" (we all do in some areas, I can relate with that!), and 2) I love your photography soooooooo much and I REALLY wanted to do a family photo shoot with you this fall :( I haven't had much time to think about it to even schedule, but now it's too late. I TOTALLY understand though. I think you're just following your intuition and doing what's best for you family and those are the people who need you most. I hope you get your balance back! Love you!